


Just a Little Q&A

by TheIcyQueen



Series: Let's Play the Hypothetical Game! [1]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Series, because sometimes i need to write things that AREN'T angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 01:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17878442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIcyQueen/pseuds/TheIcyQueen
Summary: Josh, Chris, and Ash introduce Sam to a fun new game. It's got everything a good game needs: Rules, players, turns, bizarre questions...But hey, doesn't EVERYONE love a good hypothetical?





	Just a Little Q&A

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UnicornAffair](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornAffair/gifts).



> Well hi there! This is gonna be a pretty major change of pace from the sorts of fics I’m used to writing, but I figured that while I’m working on some major, serious, and LONG fics, I might as well have a fun little side project to relax with. That means two things: Fluff and stupidity. Brace yourselves. My plan is to update this series WHILE I work on my bigger projects, so a new little one-shot will pop up from time to time ;)
> 
> My longtime bud (who you can find on AO3 and tumblr as user Unicornaffair) suggested it might be funny to write about some of our friend group’s real-life bullshit through the lens of the UD kids, and HOW could I say no to THAT?

“Have you ever played the Hypothetical Game?”

For what it was worth, Sam hadn’t _intended_ on engaging in their conversation—really, she hadn’t. Her plan had been clear from the get-go: 1. Go upstairs; 2. Obtain a drink; 3. Return downstairs to the rec room where Hannah and Beth (and the newest episode of _Pretty Little Liars_ ) were waiting for her. If, and only _if,_ the others acknowledged her, maybe she’d nod in their direction or say hello, but that had been _it_. She was already halfway down the stairs, hand trailing down the railing, when her brain seemed to finally register what had been said.

And hell, that was certainly a combination of words she hadn’t heard before.   
  
She poked her head back up from the stairwell, doing a poor job of masking her curiosity. “I’m sorry, have I _what?_ ” 

“Have yooou…everrrrr…playyyyyed…the…” Chris’s laugh became a cough as Josh elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to double over and flop bonelessly across the couch. “Hypothetical Game.” The last two words came out in a breathless rush; he’d clamped both of his hands over the spot Josh had nudged, speaking as though the wind had been knocked out of him. From where she sat on the loveseat, legs lazily dangling over one side, Ashley laughed and rolled her eyes at the scene he was making. 

Index finger tapping against the sweating soda can in her hand, Sam tried to weigh her options in her head. Sure, the twins were waiting for her downstairs, and sure, _this_ hadn’t been part of the night’s plan, but…

She didn’t move from the stairs. Instead, she pursed her lips, looking between the three of them. “…okay, I’ll bite. _What_ , pray tell, is the Hypothetical Game?”

A wide, slow smirk began to spread its way across Josh’s face. It was the sort of grin they were _all_ familiar with—the grin that meant he knew he had you right where he wanted you. “It’s just what it sounds like, Sammy! Game about hypotheticals…what’s not to love?”

“Come play!” Ashley removed her hand from her bowl of popcorn just long enough to lean over and flick Chris on the ear.

He’d still been playing dead, hands gripping his chest, tongue lolling out of his mouth, but when she flicked him, he burst back to life with a shuddering gasp. “Hey! Um... _o_ _w?_ What is it about me that just _screams_ ‘Please physically accost me’ to the two of you? Huh? What is it?”

Ashley gestured vaguely in the direction of his head. “Something about your face.”

“Yeah, definitely the face situation. Just got a punchable face, Cochise, what can I tell ya. It's your curse.” 

Slowly at first— _tentatively_ —Sam reversed her direction, climbing back up the stairs to join them in the living room. “Scoot, wouldya?” She plunked herself down on the couch between Chris and Josh, cracking open her soda. “You got thirty seconds to hook me, then I bail.”

“Thirty _seconds?_ What’s a man supposed to do in _thirty seconds_ , Samantha?” Josh’s tone suggested horror, but his smirk was still firmly in place. “Look, I already said—it’s a super easy game! You just go around and ask the class a hypothetical question, you discuss, you learn something new and fun about your friends. Lather, rinse, repeat. Easy peasy.”

“I’m sensing a catch.” She took a drink, eyeing him warily over her can. With Josh and Chris, there was _always_ a catch.

Usually, that catch was _unbelievably_ stupid.

“No catch!” Chris fixed her with a fake scowl when she turned her disbelieving stare on him. “ _No catch_. You just gotta participate, that’s all.”

She let her eyes flit to Ashley, trying to use her expression as some sort of stupidity litmus test. When the other girl just shrugged in response, Sam let out a dramatic sigh to cover her laughter, waving her hand. “All right. What kind of hypotheticals are we talkin’ about, here?”

“Well, we _were_ in the middle of one when you came up…” Chris and Josh exchanged a knowing look, both grinning like loons. “ _But_ …maybe we can start with baby steps to get you assimilated.”

“ _Acclimated_ ,” Ashley corrected without missing a beat.

“ _Gesundheit_.” Chris reached over and stole a handful of her popcorn.

Josh turned to her, leaning close as he draped his arm across the back of the couch (and, to a lesser extent, her shoulders). “How about this, Sammy? _You_ go first. Go on, give us a hypothetical— _any_ hypothetical—and we’ll show you how it’s done.”

“Oookay…um…hmm.” She took to tapping her fingers against the can again, the tinny little sounds almost perfectly arrhythmic. “If you were a Disney character, who would you be?” When she looked back up to their faces, she was struck with the inane sensation that she’d said something wrong. They looked…shit, they looked _disappointed_.

Except for Ashley, of course, who seemed nearly relieved. “Wendy Darling,” she answered immediately.

“Kuzco,” Josh said, just as quickly.

“The magic carpet from _Aladdin_ ,” Chris piped in.

There was a moment of silence as the other three absorbed _that_ …before they all begrudgingly had to agree.

“And what about _you?_ ”

Sam looked around uncertainly, realizing all eyes were on her. “Oh, _I_ have to answer my own question?”

“Um, duh?”

She sucked a breath through her teeth while she thought. “Mmm…princess Anna? From _Frozen?_ Sure. That works.”

“Oh, you are _not_ taking this seriously enough.” Chris shook his head admonishingly, raising his eyebrows. “I’m gonna show you how it’s _done_ , okay? Watch _this_ shit.” He raised both hands like a preacher about to give a spirited sermon, looking around the room until they all fell silent. “If you could pick a tattoo for _someone else_ to get...” He held up one finger, “Who would get it,” a second finger, “What would it be,” a third, “And _where_ would they have to get it?”

Josh and Ashley made low noises of intrigue, both growing contemplative. Sam pulled back to get a better look at Chris, eyes narrowed. “ _What?_ ”

“Nononono, I think I already got this. Yeah, yeah, I definitely do. Not that I like…have thought about this before, or anything.” Josh chuckled to himself. “I’d make you get a picture of my face on your left asscheek.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “Original. How big we talking? Like a cute little cameo portrait? Or full cheek?”

“Full cheek, _obviously_.”

“Ouch.”

“In _full_ color.”

“Hey, go big or go home, right?”

“ _What?_ ” Sam repeated, unable to fight her laughter from bubbling over.

“I know mine!” Ashley set her bowl down, opening her mouth to continue…before being abruptly cut off.   
  
“You want the other cheek?” Chris asked.

“No.”

“You _sure?_ Looks like it’s turning out to be prime real estate.”

She pretended she couldn’t hear him, holding her hand up to block his face from her periphery as she spoke. “I would make _both_ of you get an itty bitty little outline of me on the inside of your wrists, with a little word bubble that says ‘I told you so,’ so that—” Giggling, she raised her voice to be heard over Chris and Josh’s objections, “ _SO THAT!!!_ Every time you do something _idiotic_ or _brainless_ , even if I’m not there in person, I can haunt you _spiritually_.”

“Yeah, cuz that’s what we need,” Josh groaned, “You ‘Mom’ing us from across the ether. Great.”

Realizing it was her turn again, Sam groaned, setting her can down so she could better clamp her hands around her own face; Chris and Josh had both leaned in almost uncomfortably close to her, watching her every move with playful menace. “Okay, okay! I would…”

Chris shook a finger in her face. “ _Think_ about it this time, Sam.”

“I _am!_ ” she laughed. “I would…”

It was Josh’s turn. “ _Really_ think about it, Sammy. Think _so_ hard about it.”

“ _Stop!_ I would…” 

“ _Think. Harder!_ ”

Her face was burning red with laughter, and she could barely pull in breaths through the spaces between her fingers, but she did her best to choke out her response. Over her head, Chris and Josh high-fived. “ _FINE!_ I’d give _you_ a lightning bolt on your forehead, you putz.”  
  
“Hear that, Cochise? Yer a wizard!”

Chris gasped, pressing a hand to his chest, “I’m a _what?!_ ” It was said with such a horrible, shrill approximation of a British accent that Sam collapsed into another fit of laughter. “Nah, that’s fine. It’ll go _great_ with my Josh-ass-tat and my Angry-Ash. Just a really great look, all around. But for me," he leaned forward to peer at Josh, around Sam, "Just because _you_ had to be all over _my_ ass, I’d make you get a pair of photo-realistic jeans tattooed on your legs.” He said it so flatly that even Josh had to laugh. “Imagine it. Denim. Denim _everywhere_. A jeans tattoo. A jattoo, if you will.”

“Yeah, gonna make Casual Fridays at work _real_ fuckin’ casual. Hey, I’ll take it. Any excuse to not wear pants, right?”

Ashley scrunched her face up, “You’d still have to wear _something!_ ”

“I don’t tell _you_ how to live _your_ life.”

Without the both of them bearing down on her as they had been, Sam was able to sit back up and take a drink to soothe her throat. “You guys are so, _so_ weird…”

“Honey, you don’t _know_ weird.” Josh snickered to himself, nestling further down into the cushions to make himself comfortable. “I think now that Sammy’s all warmed up, we should get back to where we were, earlier.”

“Oh def, def, def,” Chris said around a mouthful of popcorn. “I think I have my answer to that one all figured out, so let’s get back into it.”

“Oh _no_ …what _was_ it?” Already, Sam could feel herself on the verge of laughing again. “Why did I need to be _warmed up?_ ”

“It’s not _that_ big of a deal,” Josh said, his tone suggesting that it was, in fact, that big of a deal. “It’s pretty simple when you get down to it, so I’m sure you’ll have an answer just _ready to go_.” He pressed a fist to his mouth, clearing his throat politely. “All right. So. If you could _totally_ and _completely_ switch blood with _anyone else in the world_ , whose blood would you take?”

Sam stood up to leave, but found herself pulled back down onto the couch by the back of her sweatshirt.

“ _Whose blood would you take, Sammy?!_ ”


End file.
